Jokes!‏

Customer : Waiter,do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we
serve everyone.

Cus tomer : Waiter, is this a lamb
chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the
difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?


C ustomer : Waiter, there's a dead
beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very
good swimmers.


Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in
my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he
won't drink much.


Cus tomer : Waiter, there's a fly
swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me
to do, call a lifeguard?

Cu stomer : Waiter, what's the meaning
of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a
waiter, not a fortune teller.


C ustomer : Waiter, this soup tastes
funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why
aren't you laughing?


Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to
the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be
funny. I mean to ask if I can take
this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm
afraid it's too heavy.


Te acher: Peter, why are you late for
school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that
I was playing football and the game
went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my
choices?
Wi fe : Yes and no.


A drunkard was brought to court. Just
before the trial there was a commotion
in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his
table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately
respo nded, "Thank you, your honor,
I'll have
A scotch and soda."


Cu stomer : If I post this
letter tonight, will it get to Delhi
in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it
definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to
Mumbai.


An absent-minded man went to see a
psychiatrist.'M y trouble is,' he said,
'that I keep
forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?'
asked the psychiatrist.
'Ho w long has what been going on?'
said the man.


Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is
here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th
floor.
1s t thief : Hurry! This is no time
for superstitions.
Ma n : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I
was born.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A
bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is
grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.


Wa iter: I've stewed liver, boiled
tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your
problems. Give the menu card.

Little Susie came running into the
house after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school
today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her
daddy.
"Co me in to the living room and tell
me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got
50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in
science."