WHAT EVERY KISS MEANS

♥ What every Kiss means♥

~Kiss on the Forehead = I hope we’re together forever

~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything

~Kiss on the Cheek = You look so cute

~Kiss on the Hand = I adore you

~Kiss on the Neck = We belong together

~Kiss on the Shoulder = I want you

~Kiss on the Lips = I love you

♥ What the gesture means…♥

~Holding Hands = We definitely like each other

~Holding on tight = I don’t want to let go

~Looking into each other’s Eyes = I just plain love you

~Playing with Hair = Tell me you love me

~Arms around the Waist = I love you too much to let go

~Laughing while Kissing = I am completely comfortable with you

***Advice***

*Don’t ask for a kiss, take one.*

**If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you’re definitely in Love.**

iIF YOU LOVE SOMEONE

Well, I have always believed and still do believe that if you love someone set them free….love is like sand..the more you try to tighten your grip it will slip away at a greater rate…and ultimately you will be left with nothing in your palm except a few grains in the form of memories. OK….enough of this serious talk…actually this old quote goes something like this:

If you love someone, set them free.
If they come back they’re yours;
If they don’t they never were.
However, in today’s world, this quote finds its own MODERN VERSIONS depending on the kind of people you are:

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
Don’t worry, she will come back .
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she doesn’t come back within some time forget her.

Patient:
If you love someone, set her free ..
If she doesn’t come back,
continue to wait until she comes back …

Playful
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat …

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She’ll evolve.

Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn’t, your relation was improbable
anyway.

Schwarzenegger’s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE’LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person :
If you love someone
don’t set her free.

MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn’t come back her id is supreme
If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.

Somnambulist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it’s a nightmare
If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming

So people which category do you belong to?? Me am a romantic at heart so I still believe in the original quote!!!

HOW DO I CHANGE?

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.

IS IT THE END OF ROMANCE?

They’re all saying it these days — in schools and colleges, in parks and restaurants, at workplaces and in bedrooms, over the phone and through the e-mail. They first say it as a declaration, then as an assurance.

Even people who normally don’t converse in English, when it comes to expressing this primary emotion, prefer ‘I love you’ to its vernacular equivalent. Just as the way it happens in the movies: the hero or the heroine will flirt in the regional language, but the flirtation usually culminates with the mouthing of the inevitable ‘I love you.’

But when people say ‘I love you’ to each other, what exactly do they mean?

That they want to get married?
That they find each other irresistible?
Or is it an expression of affection or admiration?
Or an unstated agreement to have sex?

No one knows!!

The answer is bound to be as complicated as the definition of love.

But one thing is certain.


Ten years ago, when you said ‘I love you’, no matter what you meant by that, it was taken not only as a declaration of love but also of commitment. It was sacred as a vow. And you usually said it only once in your lifetime — to the person who eventually became your spouse. And the pleasure of saying it was similar to using a smuggled French perfume.

Today, you can get the same perfume in the neighborhood departmental store. Similarly, ‘I love you’ is now a free commodity.

Today, ‘I love you’ no longer means you are the only one I love. It is only an expression of feeling,” says psychiatrist. “People are in a great hurry to fall in love. Having an affair has become a status symbol, especially on campuses.”

So today, people are falling in love more often than ever before. And not just with one person. Today you might be in love with someone, but you are free to walk out if the relationship is stifling and fall in love with someone else. Unlike the days of the past
when only death could do you apart.

Does that mean the present generation is less sincere when it says ‘I love you’? I doesn’t think so. They no longer say it to express a commitment. I believe they mean it when they say it. Perhaps, with culture and tradition, relationships have become flexible too. Rarely do we see a love affair culminating in marriage. Often we find that the victim of an unsuccessful affair soon gets into another one!

This casual attitude of today’s youth can be viewed as a dangerous trend. “When one runs from one relationship to another, it becomes a character trait, only to be continued in future.”

So where does this leave love?

As I heard someone say,”The word love means nothing to me at the moment, but I know when I meet my knight in shining armor, then it will have a lot of significance. At this point in time, if someone said it to me, I would not believe him.”

Why not?
The answer is simple — ‘I love you’ is no longer the smuggled French perfume.
Say it to any woman today and she’s unlikely to be impressed
Instead, she’s likely to turn back and ask:
“How many people you have said this to before?”

In any case, no one falls in love with a Tom, Dick or Harry these days — something that still happens in movies, where a autorickshaw driver wins the heart of a millionaire’s daughter.
In real life, it’s among equals (something that the strict father of the erring heroine is looking for when pushing her into a room and locking her up). We see this as a natural phenomenon. “By and large, we are drawn to people who are compatible, who we can relate to. That’s the in-built safety mechanism love has. Unless it is an act of rebellion.” So you fall in love with and marry someone compatible.

After that what?

“As long as you are in love minus the responsibilities, you are crazy about it. Once married, the colors start fading. Moreover, where is the time for romance after you have a child?”

So the question is :

Is it really worth falling in love?
For that, we have to first define love. And that’s not as easy as saying, I love you.

STRENGTH OF A MAN

So all you muscle flexing..mean-machine riding guys…..if you think you are strong…n powerful..guess what..?? you are absolutely wrong….!!!
The strength of a man is measured in the following way. Read on and judge yourself how strong you are!!



The strength of a man isn’t seen in the width of his shoulders.
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.

The strength of a man isn’t in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.



The strength of a man isn’t how many buddies he has.
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.



The strength of a man isn’t in how respected he is at work.
It is in how respected he is at home.



The strength of a man isn’t in how hard he hits.
It is in how tender he touches.



The strength of a man isn’t how many women he’s Loved by.
It is in can he be true to one woman.



The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift.
It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.



So how many of you qualified for the title of a strong man??

AMAZING THOUGHT

While browisngthe net came across this interesting piece of writing. This poem was nominated Poem of 2005 for the best poem , written by an African kid………amazing thought!!!

When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,

When I sick, I Black,
And when I die, I still black..

IS LOVE ALWAYS PAINFUL?

Had told myself always am never gonna fall in love…cos i know from experiences of my friends that love brings with it lots of pain…so never had the courage to fall in love cos didn’t have the heart to bear the pain the fall would ultimately give in return. Have never let my heart rule the mind……had been the strongest person in my group of friends but then am also human and one weak moment led to the fall and the hurt and pain was inevitable. They say loving him is my biggest mistake but how can it be so wrong if it feels so right?

But me being the strong person I am (some people think so..I m not telling this on my own, ok?) will definitely overcome this trauma, will take time…but I know I can and I will!!

It goes that to love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, to love someone who loves you is everything.

So does that make my love zilch …nothing….?? I’m still wondering…..

“In life when you have to make a choice between the one you love and the one who loves you,

Choose the one who loves you.

Because you can learn to love someone….

But cannot teach someone to love you!!”

MOVE ON...

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because
u think that
he/she
doesn’t miss u?

Missing someone is terrible but at the same time,
a
sweet feeling.

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant
anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that
it’s
him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will
surprise u by
appearing
downstairs.

Sitting in front of the television but thinking of
him/her,
missing the final episode of your favorite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u
were
out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the
stars again,
talking about everything, your dreams,
plans,future.

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her
online.

When u realise that he/she isn’t online and did
not
return your mail,
u will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess.
It exposes u to loneliness.
It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let
u
know that there is
actually a feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.

U know that u really care and u indulge in the
feeling of loving/caring
for
him/her.

But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is
feeling the same is
terrible.

U feel as if u are being left alone.
So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them
know.

At the same time, ask if they miss u.

Don’t let the feeling of missing someone become
jealousy or paranoia.

If u are the one being missed and u know it, let
the
other party know.

If u miss him/her too, tell them. Don’t let them
wait.

And if the one you are missing can’t/doesn’t
reciprocate,

MOVE ON !!

Life is short, so instead of being hurt & waiting
around-Move on!!

Believe in yourself & life, there’s someone out there
waiting to miss U
too!!

JUST THREE WORDS

LET ME HELP
Good friends see a need and then try to fill it. When they see a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they jump in and help out.

I UNDERSTAND YOU
People become closer and enjoy each other more when the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know - in so many little ways - that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. And this applies to any relationship.

I RESPECT YOU
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect demonstrates that another person is a true equal.This strengthens bonds and brings closeness.

I MISS YOU
Perhaps more relationships could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other “I miss you”. This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how important you would feel, If you received an unexpected phone call from your partner in the middle of your workday, just say “I miss you.”

MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT
This phrase is very effective in diffusing an argument. the implication when you say “may be you’re right” is the humility of admitting with someone, all you normally do is solidify the other person’s point of view. They or you, will not likely change their position and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying “may be you’re right” can open the door to explore the subject more. You may then have the opportunity to express your view in a way that is understandable to the other person.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Many broken relationship could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed t own up that he has been in the wrong which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily courtesies for granted, They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship. It is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. when troubles come, a true friend is there indicating “you can count on me”.

I’LL BE THERE
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to to hospital or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase “I’ll be there. Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people important things happen to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

GO FOR IT
We are all unique individuals. Dont try to get your frie3nds conformto your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how far out they seem to you.. God has given everyone dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to “go for it”.

I LOVE YOU
Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person’s deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Everyone need to hear those three little words: “I LOVE YOU”. Love is a choice. you can love even when the feeling is gone.

MOM"S ARE ALWAYS THE BEST

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…
“Just wait until your father gets home.”

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING….
“You are going to get it when we get home!”

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE…
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don’t talk back to me!”

My Mother taught me LOGIC…
“If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

My mother taught me more LOGIC…
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE…
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD…
“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

My Mother taught me HUMOR…
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

My Mother taught me about GENETICS…
“You’re just like your father.”

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS…
“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE…
“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE…
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

My mother taught me RELIGION…
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL…
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT…
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY…
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS…
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM….
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA…
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER…
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY…
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE…
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION…
“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about ENVY…
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

My mother taught me ESP…
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

And last but not least…

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE…
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you….Then you’ll see what it’s like!”

IS SILENCE ALWAYS GOLD?

Someone just told me the other day that “Speak less to people whom who love the most, cos if they can’t understand your silence, they can never understand your words.” Well I know speech is silver, silence is gold.

But dear I believe that silence is a text easy to misread and I think spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart and do you know silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say?


So now on if I call up someone and someone speaks little and I do the blah blah, which is the case most of the time……..what am I supposed to make out of it? Is that someone listening …or..rather…..reading?

LOVE MARRIAGE VS ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

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Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

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Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

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Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

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Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

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Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back!

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Beautiful Thoughts For Life

No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

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God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter, without sorrow, sun, without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

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Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don’t stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

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When you feel down because you didn’t get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you.

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When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

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There’s a purpose to life’s events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

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You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

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It’s better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

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We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

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Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take their place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

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Seeds Of Friendship

Life is a vicious cycle
We live it everyday
Reaching out to help each other
In a very special way.

A kind word now and then
Sometimes is what it takes
Creating lasting friendship
Is what your effort makes.

Holding hands together
No matter when or where
Understanding and respect
Just showing that you care.

Like a lovely garden
Nurture it each day
Plant the seeds of friendship
All along the way.

What are you?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.

She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity — boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?

Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Strength and Courage

It takes strength to be firm.
It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard.
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender..

It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt..

It takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.

Echo Of Life

A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, the son falls, hurts himself and screams: “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh! !!”

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh! !!”
Curious, he yells: “Who are you?”

He receives the answer: “Who are you?”

Angered at the response, he screams: “Coward!”

He receives the answer: “Coward!”
He looks to his father and asks: “What’s going on?”

The father smiles and says: “My son, pay attention.” And then he screams to the mountain: “I admire you!” The voice answers: “I admire you!”

Again the man screams: “You are a champion!”
The voice answers: “You are a champion!”

The boy is surprised, but does not understand. Then the father explains: “People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.”

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life. Life will give you back everything you have given to it.

Tears from the heart

Emotion is the trigger
that births a tiny tear
Could be love or happiness
or sadness and/or fear.
Tear drops start their flowing
from deep within our heart
When feelings overwhelm us
through our eyes they will depart
Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy
Tears of sheer delight
But when the tear drops finish
a sense of calm is there
For tears are an expression
of an experience that we share

Love Is Meant To Be Free

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.
Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.”

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love…they try to posses it, they demand, they expect… and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

Give and don’t expect.
Advise, but don’t order.
Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring.

Andra and the Back Bone - Sempurna (With translation)

A new popular song from Indonesia. Andra is also the lead guitarist for an iconic Indonesian band, Dewa. The song's title, 'Sempurna', means 'perfect'.

Note on translation: There is sentence-by-sentence translation.

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover (With Lyrics)

A soothing soft sentimental love song. Lyrics included.

A Poem Wrote For You

I think of no one else
for there is only you
your smile quickly melts me
what am i to do

i worry and i fret
when you are not near
the thought of you hurt
is my greatest fear

i send you kisses at night
where ever you may be
i ask my guardian angel
to protect you, instead of me

i can not pretend
or lie anymore
no longer can my feelings hide
closed behind a door

in my eyes you're perfect
there's no wrong that you can do
for i finally realize
that I'm in love with you

Why do men take second wife...

Polygamy has nothing to do with culture or religion. Men, and women too, cheat because they can.

WHEN a male friend told me he planned on taking a second wife, all I could do was try not to choke on dinner. Are you serious, I asked. He said yes, he had fallen in love with a single mother, but it was not his fate to marry her.

Thinking it was perhaps due her compassion, her earnest desire to bring up her sprogs in a Godly way and that life was indeed a struggle, I choked on my dessert when my friend told me the first thing he noticed about her was that she owned a great set of jugs.

Now, my friend takes his religious obligations very seriously. His first wife wears the hijab. So to hear him admit that it was his paramour’s cleavage that caught his heart was quite shocking.

It was due to women like me, whose so-called Western, secular and feminist ideas of polygamy that pushed it underground. I then asked him, whether his equally-pious wife agreed to him taking on another wife, and he said no. She gave him an earful.

But our friend was on a roll. Now that his journey into polygamy was thwarted, it was all our fault. We modern Malay women, be they religious or not, were forcing men like him to marry in Thailand or Iran, where they practised nikah Muta’ah.

He was emulating the steps of our good Prophet Mohamed, he argued.

“You have got your Islamic history upside down! Nabi married war widows, and his first wife was older than he. Aishah was the youngest. And I don’t think our Prophet married any woman because she had great breasts!”

“You don’t understand.”

“Okay then. Why don’t you sell your car and take a camel to work then?”

I’m realistic. I know men who adore their wives and love them to bits, but they can still love their mistresses and other wives. Am I condoning affairs and polygamy? No. But this happens. It has nothing to do with Islam or being Malay, though polygamy is part of the culture.

We’re Asians. We have a long history of concubinage. There are good men who are faithful, and there are good men who have other wives. There are also bad men who are faithful and also bad men who are unfaithful.

Just like our politics, love in Malaysia is a circus. Weeee!

I’m not going to bore you with what polygamy in Islam is about, as it has been written before and talked about to death. Women’s rights activists have long fought for this “crime” to be illegal, but we face a tough fight. Sometimes it’s not the men who are itching for it, but yes, our gender, too.

In the 80s, when I was young and clueless, meeting mistresses and second or third wives would be sinful and against my principles.

These days? “Oh, you’re a mistress?” “Oh, you’re a hidden wife?” Yawn. Wear tudung or mini skirt, got. Educated or stupid, got. Some of our mothers are The Other Women, and are good mothers. So how?

Is this phenomenon particular to our culture? Oh no. Read the British newspapers. Mistressing is talked about to death in feminist columns.

But I thought after that dinner with my friend, I’d revisit the issue again. Some of the findings from my five-sen survey:

> Theoretically ... polygamy is OK. But must ikut hukum Allah lah. There are conditions.

> Ya, but… actually, kan, for career women like us, it does work. Nak jaga laki 24 jam … gue tak larat la. Biar bini nombor satu jaga. After all, in Islam, polygamous wives are taken care of legally. Better a Muslim second wife than a common law wife.

> But really. Think about it. Convenient, what. You see him once a week, makan once a week, have sex once a week...

> Sex once a week?! Baik tak yah jadi bini nombor dua macam tu! Chit. Once a week mana cukup?!

Why do men cheat? Again, just an observation dwelled upon by friends and myself. For a lot of polygamous men, they marry good women who fit their criteria of holiness, wifeliness and motherhood.

Intimacy between the men and their wives are perfunctory. It’s make-the-baby-cover-the-face sex. With their girlfriends and second wives, it’s Penthouse all the way, baby. It’s the soul thing.

At least this is what I got from talking to quite a number of married men. It’s not because of the first wives’ lack of trying; they want to have healthy intimate lives, but the bees in their husbands’s bonnets keep reminding the men of the Madonna-Whore syndrome.

Malaysia is not a place for single women desiring Hollywood-movie type of marriages and love. KL especially is a city for marriages and affairs. And it has nothing to do with money. There are rich men who cheat, and I know of a despatch boy who has two wives!

There are many single-again women like my friends and I, who still believe in marriage and love. But I can tell you, should we walk down that path again one day, we’re going down it with our eyes open and keep a part of our hearts to ourselves. Because you never know.

Perhaps my friend, an activist who makes a living entering and staying in war zones, is right.

“We have women like you, me, your mother, your aunt and friend who fight so hard for women and children and yet face a brick wall, simply because we ‘understand’ so much, and forgive all the time, which is why cheating, affairs and polygamy are rampant, to the detriment or contribution (depends how you look at it) of our well-being,” says my friend.

Another friend, Sharizal Sharaani, put it succinctly: “Men (and, yes, women too) cheat because they can. Full stop.”

Touch

It’s amazing how much a simple touch can convey. In general, it shows a level of comfort and acceptance.My mom, for instance is incredibly affectionate. She absolutely loves to hug to show her love for us. My dad, on the other hand, tends to express his love through thoughtfulness instead of physical touch. He really dislikes hugs, the ones he does surrender are mechanical, with a measured pat, pat, pat on the back & shoulder. I’d rather no hug than one that isn’t warm and tight around me. Side hugs are okay, but they have to be given whole-heartedly. The best hugs, though, are ones given in certain situations, because they are the most meaningful. When you’re sad, when it’s a special celebration, when saying goodbye, when you haven’t seen that person in quite a while. Hugs aren’t the only forms of touch that convey meaning. Small touches to the arm show that someone is comfortable around you. Hand holding is fun with friends. It’s the one form of public displays of affection. Sometimes it’s a functional touch, saying, “Hey, stay close by.” Sometimes it’s a caring touch, “Hey, I just want to be close to you.” Either way, it’s not something I take for granted.

Possibly my favorite touch is a kiss on the forehead. It is just so astoundingly sweet and gentle. I walk away feeling innocent and adored.

And another new touch I’ve come to treasure is my dog’s unabashed cuddling. Anytime, anywhere he’s ready to jump on my lap and lay while I do work or watch TV. He may be as heavy as an anvil, but he’s so loyal and eager that it’s hard to kick him off and refuse him petting.

Touch truly can communicate. So, whether it is coming from someone I love, or a stranger, or a friend, simple touches can mean I miss you or I like to be with you or even we are friends.

Distance Love

Don’t let the miles between us
Keep our love apart
Just listen close and you will hear
The beating of my heart

No distance, will ever keep
My heart from loving you
There are no more tears for it to weep
For a love that runs so true

I’ll be there with you one day soon
To love you everyday
And then my heart will sing a tune
And you will hear it say

I’ve finally found my one true love
As true as one can be
And now your all I’m thinking of
Forever stay with me

Passion

Passion is the first step to ‘love at first sight’ because the passion came strong to you then you love. So finally, it’s love at first sight

Passion is to kiss or to hug and to prove that action speaks lPassion is the fire that burns from a heart in love
louder than words.

Looking into your eyes I can see beauty, looking into your soul I can see passion, looking into your mind I can see intelligence, but looking into your heart I can see the world.

Passion is the fury of love in its finest hour. Fury is passion pent up for too long.

There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life

Political Sayings

A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for.



During a campaign the air is full of speeches - and vice versa.

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party.

Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose.

No government can be long secure without formidable opposition.

Democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.

There are far too many men in politics and not enough elsewhere.

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.

A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy.

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.

Office Jokes

Good !
When I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets !
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Mistake...
If you make a mistake, you're an idiot.But if your boss makes a mistake, he's 'only human' !
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Lazy/ busy !
If you don't finish your work in time, you're lazy. But if your boss don't finish his work in time, he's too busy.
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I need a raise !
"I have to have a raise", the man said to his boss." There are three other companies after me." "Is that so ?" asked the boss. "What other companies are after you ?" "The electric company, the telephone company and the cooking gas company" said the man.

sms slang

2DAY -today
2MORO -tomorrow
2NITE -to night
AAM -as a matter of fact
AB -ah bless!
ADctd2Luv -addicted to love
AFAIC -as far as i know
AKA -also known as
ALIWanIsU - all i want is you
ALOrO -all or nothing
AML -as soon as possilbe
ATB -all the best
B4 -before
BaBitsU -baby it's you
BBFN -bye bye for now
BBSD -be back soon darling
BCNU -be seeing you
BdBy -bad boy
BF -boy friend
BFN -bye for now
BGWM -be gentle with me (please)
BRB -be right back
BTW -by the way
BYKT -but you knew that
Cld9? -cloud 9?
CMIIW -correct me if i'm wrong
CSThnknAU -can't stop thinking about you
CU -see you
CUIMD -see you in my dreams
CUL8R -see you later
CYA -see ya
D8 -date
DLTBBB -don't let the bed bugs bit
4EVRYRS -for ever yours
EOL -end of lecture
F2T -free to talk
FITB -fill in the blank
FWIW -for what it's worth
FYEO -for your eyes only
FYI -for your information
GAO -glad all over
GF -girl friend
GG -good game
GMeSumLuvin -gimme some lovin'
GMTA -great minda think alike
Gr8 -great
GrOvyBab -groovy baby
GrwOldWivMe -grow old with me
GSOH -good salary, own home
GSOH -good sense of humour
GTSY -glad to see you
H8 -hate
HAGN -have a good night
HAND -have a nice day
HITULThtILuvU? -have i told you lately that i love you?
HidMeClse -hold me close
Hot4U -hot for you
HTH -hope this helps
H&K -hug and kiss

BRITISH ENGLISH VS MALAYSIAN ENGLISH

Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below - Ours is
simple,short, concise, straight-to- point, effective etc………

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you
want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the
other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few
moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No- need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to
enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don’t be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don’t recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I’d prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.
Malaysians: Don’t want la…

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about
the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I’m
trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time..
Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that….

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn’t the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don’t know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u

Saying Goodbye

How do I say goodbye to someone I badly want in my life? Can you just imagine how hard it's going to be for me? Should I literally say it or just abruptly banish in the blue? No matter how many times I've thought about it, can I really let him go?

While watching DVD last night but as usual, my mind was wandering... thinking of him. In a sentimental mood, I thought about how things would be if I never get to chat with him, talk to him, and see him again (even if it's only through my mind). To my surprise, tears rolled down my face. Omigod, why am I crying? I immediately went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face then went back to watch the movie. I was watching cartoon by the way, and it's supposed to be a light and funny.

For chrissakes, where did those tears come from?!!!? I know he is not serious about me. I know for him everything is just for fun and I am not expecting nor asking him to love me either, and as much as possible, I try not to think about how I really feel because I don't want to find out I'm already falling in love with him. I don't like it when he mentions the word love which for me is a sacred word and feeling - not to be said just for the sake of saying it. Funny thing is, even if I know his true intentions, I still let him into my life. I know I'm making a fool out of myself yet I allow this madness to happen.

Going back, if I didn't reply to the very first message I got from him, none of this would have happened...I'd still be a good girl living a perfectly normal life. Prior to that, I have already received a number of messages like his from other guys(best described as pick-up lines)- and I ignored them all. As in ALL, except him. Why??? And if we were destined to meet and be close, why just now?

Oh, this is not good at all. I myself was even surprised on how emotional I got at the thought of getting him out of my life. If this is the case, then I should really say goodbye before it's too late.

But how? and when?

Words To Ponder

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

I’m trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

I wasn’t really naked. I simply didn’t have any clothes on.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

How To LOVE

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving.


Say it. When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.

Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.


It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free . It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.

There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.

You have to find someone that will suit you, someone you feel comfortable with - not just someone to make love to.

As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?

Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.

Realize that love is a feeling that wikihow can describe and attempt to assist, but ultimately, you are the one who must take action in order to discover love.

Do things that make the other person feel good, but do not smother them with gifts and attention.

Consider some tips about what people in love do.

People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavor to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.

Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature. People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfillment in life.

Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.

People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.

People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.

People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.

People who truly love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.

People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.

People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.

People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.